The September Crystal
by Madman Szalinski
Summary: The enemy is anybody that's going to get you killed, no matter what side they are on. Drugs, violence, sex. 102405: I doubt I'll ever finish this, but I'll leave what I got up.
1. Chapter 1

Something was buzzing in my ear. I leaned over and looked eye-to-eye with the alarm clock. It read "6:46." I sat up, rubbing my eyes. I looked down at my legs. No change, the horrendous scar was still on my left leg. It looked faintly like a snake. It felt like a snake - a symbolism of evil I was forced to bear forever...well, when my skin rots off once I get to the grave that should do it. Or maybe not? 

"Get up, you fuckhead."

Cid walked in the room in nothing but jogging pants, smoking a cigarette.

"What the hell do you want?" I got out of bed, still in my boxers. I ran my hand through my hair, which when not spiked up just hangs everyfuckingwhere.

"7 AM, up and at 'em. We gotta be in South Nibelheim."

Ah, South Nibelheim. You probably need an explanation, don't you? Of course. After Midgar went boom-boom, or in other words the Lifestream and Meteor crushed it, Nibelheim became a very large city. It was split into two domed sections, South and North Nibelheim. The original town was never changed, as the new city was built a few kilometers south. The two domed sections were to prevent catastrophes such as what happened three years ago. The dome opens and closes with the flick of a switch. There are five tunnels connecting the two domes, although only two are open to the public. The third is an underground secret only known by the closest of NSI.

Who are NSI? I'm glad you asked. New Shin-Ra Industries, basically picking up where Shinra left off.The only difference is that now it takes much less Mako, so we haven't really been concerned with them. Their president should be familar to you: Reeve. His full name, Rueben David Reeve. He stuck with Reeve because he wasn't a deli sandwich. That's what he said, anyway. Anyways, as he tries to make life easier for everyone while not destroying the Lifestream, a few Shinra employees who were lucky enough to not die got together and now are a band of criminals. Their leader: Dale, younger brother of Rufus. These guys terrorize a lot of places: Kalm, Junon, Cosmo Canyon, and last but not least, their headquarters...South Nibelheim.

So, why am I going to South Nibelheim with Cid? Simple. To kick these guys' asses.

"Come on, we don't have all god damn day!"

Barret was sitting on the couch downstairs in the hotel we had on the tunnel. "I'm up, he's up, we're all up. Red's on his way, and Reeve's sending down Cait Sith."

"Then where the hell are Tifa and Yuffie?"

"Right here." Tifa and Yuffie came out behind Cid from the ladies' restroom. Damn, Yuffie dresses like she was going to get laid instead of fight. Tifa, on the other hand, just looks good no matter what she's wearing.

"So let's all get the strategy talk and bullshit through." Cid sat everyone down and I pulled out a couple of stones from my pocket. There was already a map of South Nibelheim on the table.

"All right. we're right here at the motel on the West Tunnel. Shinra HQ is right here on Gainsborough Street." God, that name makes me cringe and want to cry. I don't want to even go into it...

"Nice name." Tifa swung her hair back.

"Here's what we do. Cid and I go to the park with the stuff. We've already called them and set up the drop. Cait Sith and Barret go up the old cargo elevator on the building across the street and provide cover fire. Tifa and Yuffie pretend to be strolling through the park, when we walk by. Then it's all on."

"What about me?" Red came in through the doorway. "I've been listening in for baout ten seconds. Good plan, but please don't tell me you're putting me on a leash."

"Yuffie and I are going undercover...if we were walking a pet, we could do the job much easier..."

"Fuck me, COME ON! Just because I look like a feline on speed does NOT MEAN I have the ability to pose as a domesticated pet! Besides, you ever try and fight a gangster with a leash on?"

"Chew it off." I petter Red lightly just to piss him off.

"Strife, do it again and you pull back a bloody stump." Red looked at me with his most angry look.

"You know you like it."

"It's a reflex."

"Any questions?" Everyone shook thier heads.

"Let's roll. Remember, this is what we've waited for. Years in the making, to finally finish off the enemy. Fight until you're dead."


	2. Chapter 2

I climbed into Barret's van. The seats were three benches bolted to the van frame. Barret had the captain's chair behind the wheel. Tifa sat to my left, and Yuffie to my right. Vincent sat beside Yuffie, and Cid beside Tifa. Cait Sith took one of the benches and Red was comfortable on the floor. Barret started up the van and we left to get onto the nearby highway.

"Damn, traffic is heavy."

"That's because most people are heading off to work." Cid adjusted his hat. Red scratched his ear. Cait Sith hummed to himself lightly. TIfa leaned over slightly to me. "So, you think this will work?"

"I sure hope so," I said as I tightened my gloves, "because we need it."

"Damn right." Barret turned to look back at us.

"BARRET!"

"FUCK!"

Barret turned his head back in time to barely dodge a car. "Learn to drive, people!"

"Yeah, don't mess with a big black guy driving a van full of mercenaries." Yuffie made a joke, and for once it was a good one as we all got a laugh out of it. "Well guys, we have a few minutes...wanna play a game?"

Cid took a cigarette out from his pack and lit it up. "Whatcha got in mind?"

"I don't know."

"How about the Alphabet Game?" Cait Sith and Yuffie were the humorous ones of the group, which entertained the rest of us without annoying us.

"Male or female?"

"Male. We did female when we went to Bone Village last week."

"Male it is. Who's in?"

Cait Sith, Yuffie, Tifa, and Cid raised their hands. Red raised his paw. Vincent was asleep. Barret was driving. I really had no interest in playing.

"I'll start...hmmm...A...A..." Yuffie was sexy...a girl with no shame.

"Fuck it, let's try it now." Cid opened his other pack of cigarettes and pulled out a rather fat looking cigarette. Well, it looked more like it was the size of a baseball bat. Ojkay, that's exaggerating, but... "Hit the stuff, Yuff."

"Cid, excuse me for a second, but do we really need to be smoking marijuana before we go fight?"

"Come on, man. Admit it...you like getting stoned." Cid introduced weed to us all shortly after the fall of Midgar, and we all liked it.

"Yes, I do. But only when I can sit on the couch, drink some peppermint Schnapps, eat pizza, and watch TV. Not when I have to fight the mob over control of the world's electricity and energy sources." Cid had already taken a hit and was coughing, passing it to Tifa.

"Why the hell not..." Tifa took a nice large hit. The joint was now in my hand. I held it out to Red. I never thought I'd see the day, but the four-legged warrior was capable of smoking. Red figured out how to put the joint in his old hairpin and hold it with his paws. (It served as a very good roach clip.) He reared back and inhaled it through his nose.

"God, I love that smell.." Red passed it back to me. I gave it to Yuffie, who hit it like no tomorrow. She coughed like she had bronchitis for a minute, then handed it to Vincent. Vincent was asleep, so she nudged him lightly.

"What?" Yuffie waved the joint in front of his face. "Sorry, Vinnie, but you gotta try this." Vincent took a hit and nodded, then laid back down.

"God, I wish I had my body..." Cait Sith frowned. "You owe me a buzz, Cid."

"Not a problem. Found this shit growing wild by the Crater. I cut it down, cured it on the Highwind, and I got seven pounds of it. Sephiroth weed." Funny, one of our world's greatest villians was now remembered in the name of a strain of marijuana. It was good shit though.

"No thanks, I'm driving." Barret was responsible, but you knew he was getting a contact buzz.

---------------------------

"E...elephant trunk!"

"Good one, Cid! Tifa?"

"F...I have F...lemme see...I can make this good...Frankly Fucktastic?"

Everyone laughed. Even Vincent, who woke up and felt the love. We were all high as hell.

"Cloud has G."

"G? Easy. Gongalong."

The van rocked with laughter. Barret definetely got a contact buzz, as he laughed to.

"Can I try H?"

"Sure, B."

"Heffalump."

"What the fuck? Heffalump?" Cid started another loud laughing fit.

"Hey, guys. I hate to be the party pooper..."

"Dude, if you could poop parties we wouldn't be in this van, dude! I'd be on the Highwind right now getting drunk..."

Barret slammed on the brakes. We all flew around the back. Tifa landed on top of me. For a split second, I started to fathom her and I together. How beautiful she was, how nice she would fit in my arms, how her lips would feel on mine...my daydream was broken by Cid shorlty after.

"We're here, dude. Let's get this show on the road, dog."

"Move out, people. You know what to do." 


End file.
